addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
so easy how we become undone
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
chinese was so bad. whatever. from now till A levels i swear i'm going to start listening, reading and speaking chinese more. someone suggested reading chinese comics. might consider that.. watching more chinese tv. should try using more chengyus too. bah my problem is i read to slowly. and that really screwed me up. wth i felt like throwing up for the whole of two papers. headache too. so giddy. i took a nap btwn the two papers but it didn't seem to help much cos when i got up to walk to the loo, i couldn't walk straight. hurhur. yes so anw, did a horrid job. i think i'm going to fail and that is very heart-wrenching for me. i think i should also start listening to more chinese songs again. when i was a crazed 5566 and f4 fan my chinese seemed much better.
came home and tried to get some rest. having continuous consecutive nightmares is not very conducive for peaceful sleep. i want them to go away :( maybe it's the medication.
tried to do math. but now i'm in some rotten mood again. i am very scared. not of the exam. but more like what comes after it. meaning like "oh shit i didn't study hard enough" or when i get back my results and find i flunked every subject or other things like that. which scares me because i really tried so hard. beyond anything i ever thought i could do. my stupidity scares me.. srsly.
it's this whole URTI shit. it'd better go away soon. i was having difficulty breathing this morning and that is scary because i wasn't even moving.
AGH i am not articulate. ok there is this sudden influx of negative thoughts. from where i don't know. maybe bacteria are demonic microorganisms.
actually i'm quite excited about paternalism module for philo. because i have a lot of questions regarding this matter. huhrer (adapted from fuhrer)
OK I AM SO SCARED i want to hide. it's scary how so many things are suddenly scaring me so badly. i don't want anymore anxiety nightmares pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ok i hope with all my heart that i will not break down till after math paper at 0930h tmr. because i can feel a breakdown coming and NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME. damn these things can't ever come at the right time can they?!
THIS SHALL BE THE LAST NIGHT THAT I AM FRETTING OVER EOYs. taking the paper that is. receiving marks is another matter which i shouldn't be worrying about right now. good night world.